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Moving Around Too Quickly

04/11/11 5:00AM
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This week's piece and podcast by Anna Rutenbeck, a junior at Champlain Valley Union High School, is a deep breath, a pledge to slow down, drive out the noise and listen to the silence of one's own direction. For more great student writing, go to youngwritersproject.org

 

 

Maybe 
just maybe 
for once we will spend an evening 
without a trace of red. 
We will spend all of our time 
without questioning the colors
thrown up on the wall before us.
We will not question because questioning is a sign of weakness and we cannot be weak. 

We will eat everything put in front of us. 
We will eat everything put in front of us even if it's not necessarily what one would call "edible". 
We will eat everything put in front of us
because somehow this will prove that we are 
strong and adventurous because we need to prove that to 
each other and more importantly we need to prove that 
to ourselves. 

We're going to go on a trip.
We're going to buy two one way tickets to Toronto and we are not going to make plans and we are not going to look back. We are going to marvel at the city and we are going to listen to music. 
We are going to go to Toronto because no one else wants to go to Toronto and that makes us special and unique. 
We are going to go to Toronto because we need to prove that to each other. We need to prove that to ourselves. 

We are going to spend time together and we are not going to do anything.

We are not going to break the time up with line breaks and we are not going to make any noise. We are going to lay in bed and watch the sun move around the sky.

We're going to do this for days and maybe weeks.

We're going to do this as long as we need to, as long as we need to until we realize that we're on our way to finally doing what we need to do.

We are going to stop trying to prove things to ourselves and we are going to stop needing affirmation that we are doing the right thing. 

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